Gesundheit

I have forever felt as much discomfort being around someone who sneezes as the person who does the sneezing.  No, I'm not a germaphobe, I just never know quite how, or if, to approach the situation.

Sneezing is an involuntary expulsion of air from the lungs through the nose or mouth.  I have employed a couple of techniques to resist this reaction to dust or other foreign particles in the nose when in certain situations.  During meetings, when on the telephone with a client, and when my mouth is full of food (68% of my day), I do all I can to keep from bothering others with my noises and germs.  But, as this is an involuntary action, it is sometimes a lost cause.  And when I slip and let one out, I can assure you that I am still just as alive and (somewhat) healthy as before.  There is no need to focus additional attention from a higher being upon me.

Likewise, I should feel no obligation to include you in any mini-prayers or ritualistic German chants.  Your body reacted to an environmental stimulus.  Big deal!  I'm pretty sure you will live to see another day without me checking up on your state of well-being.  Does this make me a rude person?  I should hope not.

If traced back far enough, I may have some German ancestors hanging out in my family tree.  That doesn't mean that I enjoy drinking beer and eating sausage!  Okay, so I do enjoy those things, but still it doesn't mean I have to go around speaking German to everybody.  And as some of you may know, I am not Christian.  I do respect all religions, but feel awkward ordering your deity to glorify your being due to something tickling your nose.

So please don't think I don't care about you or your health when I hear you sneeze in the other room.  Unless it is followed by a loud thud as your lifeless body crashes to the floor, I'm going to continue playing Angry Birds on my phone.  And if you really want to address my sneezing, I would rather hear "nice semi-autonomous convulsion" than to feel like you are attempting to convert me to your beliefs.