Things I have never done

Read an entire book outside of a class assignment.

Touched a living president's ear lobe.

Eaten brussel sprouts.

Purchased a top hat.

Been in a fist fight.

Used any of the following words: pogonotrophy, callipygian, interrobang, or rhinotillexomania.

Driven a car using only my sense of style.

Been to New York City.

Laughed at a dead robin.

Written a blog providing anything useful at all.

Died.